If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
