You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Mom said you looked used
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
