I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
