i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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