I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
