Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
