Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
