So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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