You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
