i would punch a child for taco bell
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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