i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
