Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
