Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
