Will you blow on my dice?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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