No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
