my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We had to coat check the pizza.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
