I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
