He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
