Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
