I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
