if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
