dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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