i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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