I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
