there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
