I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
