I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
