Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
