I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
