She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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