I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
