Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need to sanitize my soul.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
