remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
