i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
