Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
