Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sponge bath it is.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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