hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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