We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
