it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
