yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
