ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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