Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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