life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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