Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
