I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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