People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
