I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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