So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
