I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have aggressive nipples.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
