what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
