Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
