sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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