Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
