why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
