During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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