Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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