you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
