wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
