who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
