I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize