we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
