Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
there is glitter all over my balls
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
