walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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