I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is it fun? or sober?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
