I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
