in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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