I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
